"The realest people don’t have a lot of friends."

Tupac (via ieao)

(Source: blvcknvy, via earthcoastin)

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

(via earthcoastin)

sniffing:

I know drugs are bad and that they ruin families but so does monopoly and that’s still legal

(via unicorns-underneath-rainbows)

larrycoincidences:

whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004 

(via unicorns-underneath-rainbows)

What do we say to the god of death?

  • Persephone: knock knock
  • Hades: who's there?
  • Persephone: it's September hope you're ready to bang like a screen door in a hurricane

londoin:

do you ever get a weird crush on someone that’s not even attractive but you’re just attracted to them and you don’t know why

(via unicorns-underneath-rainbows)

  • me (dating a girl named liz and also taking a delicious lasagna out of the oven): hey anyone want some liz on ya? well you can't, she's mine. hahahaha. okay liz you can go home now I only dated you to make that joke